The Separation of Church and...

Me.

I'm not sure who all actually reads my blog. With that being said... Some of you may (or may not) be surprised by the fact that over the past 14 months, I have been to church a total of about 5 times. Anyone care to know why or would you like to go ahead and start judging me right away?

At first, I was angry. I pouted with God for quite some time for taking my dad before He should have. It's all part of the grieving process. Anger is one of the steps. So, I went through it (btw... I'm still not "un-angry" about it). That part passes, as best it can, and then a deeper depression hits.

I tried going back, but everything the pastor said made me even more sad than I already was. I ended up crying (bawling, really) & had to leave. What was the point in even going if I wasn't going to sit & listen?

Then, it became more of a personal thing for me... I mean, socially... Which church should never be about... Anyway- our family's absence did not prompt ANYONE from the church to visit, write, call, text, etc. Not the pastor, or the associate pastor or the music team or any member of the congregation. Now, I realize that we are not official "members" of the church. It's mainly because we knew we were up here temporarily & didn't see the point of moving our letters repeatedly. However, we have been attending the same church since August of 2008. Not just attending either. We were very active. Eric played in the praise team 2-3 services pretty much every week (work permitting) & I sang some & everyone knew Olivia.

We went a few weeks ago. Would you believe that the pastor didn't say hi. Neither did the associate pastor. Or anyone from the praise team. The only people that spoke to us were the couple sitting beside us. Nice, right? And, the associate pastor was preaching, of all things, about how if one member of the church is missing or not living up to their spiritual potential then the whole church suffers. Yeah, right! They don't even notice when you're not there!

I think what makes it worse for me is the fact that the associate pastor's kid goes to the same school as Olivia. They used to be friends. Now, when his wife (or he, sometimes) stands outside of the school in the afternoons waiting to pick up kids, I don't get so much as a smile or a nod or a wave- nothing. And, last week, a [good] friend of mine snapped at me for not being in church lately. She didn't bother to ask why.

I talk to God every day. That's MY business. Church is supposed to feel like family and I've yet to find one that does. Which leads me to my next point...

I AM a member of FBC Purvis and I have not received one call, text, letter, email, etc from ANYONE in that church since my dad passed away (almost 14 months ago). My mom is also a member- has been since before I can remember. Everyone there knows there. Heck, everyone in Purvis pretty much does. And, if they don't, then they knew Daddy or they know Jacob. Would you believe that not one person from her church has called or stopped by to check on her? Not one. Not even the pastor himself. After church one day, Mom even told him she'd like for him to come over & he said, "Thank you". Guess what...? He never came. Or called. I want to quote some scripture now...
James 1:27:²⁷Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction..."
Well, folks, although she despises the term, my mother is a widow & this is her time of affliction. I don't think it gets more clear than that. Shouldn't SOMEONE godly be checking on her?

I'm not perfect. I don't now, nor have I ever claimed to be. I just want to put this out there for everyone: I'm not a heathen. I may not go to church when & where you want me to. I pray. I have taught Olivia the importance of prayer. I have my priorities exactly the way I think they should be. I do not believe that every waking moment should be spent in church. Just because the doors are open doesn't mean I have to enter them. Some people are so determined to be there ALL THE TIME & to give every bit of their energy & focus to God that they neglect spending quality time with their family. You have to have a balance. I do not judge people for going just as I do not judge people for not going. I have some Baptist friends & some Methodist friends. I have friends that are Catholic. My dearest friend up here is a former Jehovah's Witness. And, I have a Mormon friend. I also have friends that don't go at all. It's who you are & what you do that matters to me.

There are always church-goers that can't figure out why "outsiders" don't want any part of religion. Maybe it's because there are so many people pretending to care. People get dressed up & smile at you inside the doors of the church, but that's about it. Like I said... It's actions that matter.

If you feel like sharing this with people you know, go ahead. I'm not ashamed nor am I hiding anything. My Purvis friends have my permission to forward it if you'd like. Maybe it will get someone's attention.

Thank you. The end.